Every so often, I f**k up. Sometimes, it's more than every so often, and other times it leans more towards often, like an unending tide that began in the middle of the F**klantic Ocean. Then there's a break, and the waters rush back to their mysterious origin, waiting patiently for the next event.
I have it in me, like most people, to f**k up in big ways, thanks to that stupid mantra someone who f**ked up before me touted as the correct approach to f**king up.
Now, the details of this most recent monumental f**k-up aren't important. You can go to celebrity-bashing websites to see famous, rich and powerful people f**k up and get all the gory and laughable details. The main difference between me and the people featured on those sites is the income bracket. At the base of it, though, we're all riding the tide of f**king up in the same dingy.
The worst part about f**king up is when other people are involved because they are going to bear the brunt of it, and that is why this post is about the view from the inside of my a$$ where my head has been buried is warranted.
So, after that lengthy introduction, I can come to the heart of the matter: f**king up is treated by preventative measures, such as an awareness of one's actions taken from the broadest view of things. A lack of this perspective is the surest way to f**k up, and this is what has transpired in my case. I admit that my perception of various situations that I have instigated is the root cause of this dilemma. Sometimes the world shapes us, but usually it's the other way around, and as an unfortunate practitioner of f**king up, I know that I'm definitely in the latter category.
Why and how does this happen? Ignorance of anyone outside me coupled with selfishness, which can prove most catastrophic given the right circumstances.
So what can I do differently?
I can't try to f**k up less, but I can raise my awareness. I can be more proactive in my way of dealing with situations, and I can remember that no man is an island. It's a matter of personal responsibility. I thought I was doing okay at this stage of the game, but I wasn't, and there are consequences. What I see is that age doesn't breed maturity, which can only be born from acts of kindness and respect. It's a matter of choice, and if I am not to be drowned by the tide of my own mistakes, then I must accept that there is a better way to act and embrace that way of doing.
I'm sorry. I will do better.